Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Kiss my SASS!!

When you see a beautiful 11 year old little girl crying about self body image you can't help but feel your heart break. At 11 years old my little sister broke down crying last night and was very hesitant in telling me what was wrong. After this big sister (a role I take to heart) applied some intricate prying techniques to get to the root of my little Lady's affliction, I found the cancer that had dimmed her light. Two little girls that my sister goes to school with have assumed the roles of bullies and whisper about her and give her dirty looks all the while staring at her stomach. Which in turn has planted the tumor of a distorted body image into my little Lady's thoughts having her think that she is fat. Now my little Tiki Kiki (a nickname for my sister from when she was a very little Lady!) is so far from fat that in fact she is the complete opposite. She practices mixed martial arts (MMA) at least three times a week, flips boys twice her size over her back and is a very active child. So as I listened to the hateful things that little kids do to each other I assumed the role of doctor to begin my very own treatments to remove the malice tumor that has planted itself into the thoughts of this little girl too young to be hurting over how she looks. 

With precision and the technique of Sass on hand I think I began my first successful round of chemo on the tumor of negative self body image. When I was about 12 years old I was definitely bigger than the other kids. At the age of 12 wearing a size 13, I was the fat girl. Teased by kids in my class wasn't a regular occurrence however the one time it did happen left scars in my memory to last to this day. I overheard two boys talking about how when I walked it sounded like Jello. I was heartbroken. I cried and the teacher somehow caught wind of the incident and mediated the situation. The memory was forgiven but the pain never forgotten. As the years progressed I only got bigger. At the age of 13 I weighed 150 pounds. At the age of 14 the scale read 170. There was a group of boys that always sat at the same lunch table together, some of which I thought were friends. Somehow my body image had become their target. I remember walking by them and they would call me the name, "Tafruoy". They were a rambunctious group of boys so I always thought that it was just some stupid name that they made up to be annoying. Never had I imagined how much hurt that word would cause, how much hate that word was saturated with, how much ignorance that word contained. I remember some would call me that name individually and sometimes if 2-3 of them were together. Then one time I remember walking up the stairs and their entire lunch table shouting "Tafruoy" at me. Frustrated the next morning before school as I was getting ready I decided to write down this word and try to make some sort of sense out of this word. So on a piece of paper I started writing.... "Tafrowy" "Taphrowy" Taphrouy" until I finally came to "Tafruoy" as soon as those letters were sprawled out on that piece of paper I had reversed those words to their true meaning, Y-O-U-R-F-A-T. A dagger to the heart, the tears became unstoppable, and I still had to face the day ahead filled with my tormentors and a heart full of hurt. Another deeply wounded scar that has been forgiven yet the pain still sits in a little piece of my heart. By the age of 17 I tipped the scales at 230lbs. Depressed and unhealthy physically, emotionally, and mentally my personal battle with my own self image tumor had poisoned my thoughts with suicide. I made an attempt by swallowing almost an entire bottle of diet pills. My cancer had become out of control. As years passed I lost weight and shrank my cancerous thoughts of self hatred and got down to the size I was at the age of 12. 

Using my experience as Dr. LadyLove's scalpel  to remove my Tiki's own painful tumor made the operation a success. Helping to heal my little sister's painful circumstances has empowered and inspired me to want to help others in the advocacy of Ladies positive self body image everywhere. Doing some research I have realized that their are quite a few people entering into raising people's self esteem movement. The media has served as a positive influence however, has had more of a negative impact on Little Ladies self image by plastering size 0's all over their highly viewed visual outlets. 

So with this I make my promise to raise awareness of how we must embrace everyone's body types and support a healthy lifestyle and not a size 0 or unrealistic body images. I promise to incorporate my new found self image activist role within the LadyLove movement and as always encouraging Ladies & Gents everywhere to find their inner SASS!! So that one day we can tell all of our haters to KISS MY SASS!!
 Lots of LadyLove,